Today I got on Facebook and, as I do most days, went to check out my own profile (I’m obsessed with myself). Right under my profile picture lives a box that says “SEE YOUR 2013 YEAR IN REVIEW” and I thought “oh cool it’s been a good year I’ll check it out”
NEVER LOOK AT YOUR YEAR IN REVIEW
You might move on and enter a whole new universe, leaving behind you the pieces of yourself that never really fit—and even some of the people, BUT FACEBOOK NEVER FORGETS.
It will always be there to remind you of the jobs you couldn’t keep, the men you couldn’t love properly, the nights you felt like shit and needed the world to know about it. It knows about every late-night-amphetamine-fueled worry, every week-long romance, my opinion on every unimportant thing ever; it even knows about my sad—about the three months where I didn’t post anything because I thought nobody cared.
The timeline is a crazy thing.
As I scroll back in time, I realize that most of my 2013 was spent as a ghost. The past few months are full of sure and proud statuses from a seemingly happy girl, but once I hit August, the posts become riddled with shame and exhaustion.
And I wonder: Was I really that sad? I seem so confused! Why would I even post that? Why would he like that?! Did he know it was about him? God, I should have used the shift key. Somebody must have hacked my account, the pronoun disagreement in this status is making me sick. Who is that guy? Why did we take a picture together? We look so happy. Why was I even friends with her? The status sadness is getting so boring. OMG WHY WOULD I LET THE WORLD KNOW THAT?? Wait no Facebook, stop. MONICA STOP SCROLLING. No…no no no no no…here come the relationship pictures. Ugh I really stopped trying for a while. Jesus Christ this is pathetic. Hahahhaha. Was I that in love?? Kill me. kill me kill me kill me.
It’s like drowning but you just won’t fucking die."
white…. teenage girl??, wearing uGGs?,!!???„ no… me not liking shoe… bad personn bad…. maek up?,!!!? strabUCKs?! must… make fun of girl… i am better person… superior… must turn girl… into stereotype… other girrl… wrong and mean…. but me acepting and open mnided!!.! not like those bitches!!!!!
One time this girl I know posted on facebook that she wanted donuts and more than one guy brought donuts to her house. That’s my dream.